“Does this make me look fat? Wait, before you go out to get me another size, can you help me pull the zipper all the way up on this one?”

I hear the salesgirl mumbling—

“Oh, and wait another minute before answering because don’t you think I should put the jacket on before you decide what you think about how it makes me look?”

Silence and then I think I hear footsteps going away from the dressing room. The voice calls out a bit more loudly.

“Uhhhhh hmm, can you get me this same outfit but in a different color and bigger size?”

The steps return, and I hear some grunting.

“Whew, that was hard to get off, can you zip me up in this one? Hmm, it’s ok, but do you have anything like this in black?”

The salesgirl’s mumbles are incomprehensible, but the woman in the dressing room says clearly:

“No? How about bringing me something with vertical lines? Vertical lines are slimming. I liked the striped one on the mannequin, but she has a blonde wig. Wow, do you think that’s why this outfit doesn’t look good on brunette me in either color or either size?”

I hear noises of clothing being exchanged and my neighbor then calls out:

“I tried on the other pieces, you can take them away and put them back on the racks, but this black is too dark for me—can you bring me a pair of pants and a shirt in that new shade of dark green I just saw in Vogue?”

After a pause, I hear footsteps going out, another pause, and footsteps returning.

“Oh, I like this dress you just brought in, nice shade of green. Can you zip it up for me?”

I can’t decipher the mumbled reply.

“I AM holding my stomach in! Do you think it will fit better if I wear Spanx under it? Oh, you don’t sell Spanx in this department? Well, can you have someone bring some down to me? No? Okay, then bring me this in a bigger size, can you?”

Steps go away, and come back. Hangers clink and clang as dresses are handed out and in.

“Ahh, I like this—color’s right, it feels good on—but tell me, truthfully now, do you think it makes me look fat?”

Joan Leotta

offers encouraging words on page and stage. Internationally published as an essayist, journalist, novelist, poet, and short-story writer, she is the author of more than a dozen books, including two poetry chapbooks: Feathers on Stone (2022) and Languid Lusciousness with Lemon (2017). Her writing has been nominated multiple times for the Pushcart Prize and Best of the Net, and has appeared in numerous publications, including Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine; The Ekphrastic Review; Gargoyle Magazine; Impspired; Lothlorien Poetry Journal; The Mackinaw; MacQueen’s Quinterly; MysteryTribune; ONE ART; Ovunque Siamo; Pinesong Awards Anthology 2014 (NC Poetry Society); Poetry in Plain Sight (NC Poetry Society); Red Eft Review; Silver Birch Press; Verse-Virtual; Visual Verse: Anthology of Art and Words (Volume 10); and Yellow Mama, among others.

Joan also performs stories for youth and adult audiences highlighting food, family, and strong women. Her one-woman show as Louisa May Alcott highlights Alcott’s development as a writer and activist, and her time as a Civil War nurse. Joan has taught writing and storytelling for the North Carolina Poetry Society, the North Carolina Writers’ Network, The Study (formerly Humanities North Dakota), and the London Arts-Based Research Centre.

Joan Leotta, Author and Story Performer on Facebook