They especially like carnivores in spandex, which gives a satisfying pop when they bite through it, like natural casings on hot dogs. Afterwards, they move the stretchy Spandex strands between their teeth, which looks like flossing. While they do this, the corners of their mouths pull back, into grins. This motion feels good. Do not wave or shout at a mountain lion. Waving can be misconstrued as an outward sign of injury, that you cannot get away and might be tasty. Shouting indicates ripeness. A person’s volume does not scare a mountain lion. The loudness quickens the lion’s steps toward the howling individual. A blood-curdling scream means prey is juicy, alerts the lion to waste none of this bounty. Let tongue have its orgy lapping, shrieking tells the cat, let throat receive in thankful ardor. The more a person struggles, the better. The movement relaxes the lion’s mandibles, relieves muscle stress, allows the lion to savor the moment.

Bio: Jonathan Yungkans