Make a mental list of conversational topics you’d prefer: colonoscopies, nuclear winter, the contents of her spam folder. Monitor your eyebrow-action. Sky-high eyebrows telegraph judgement about her latest diet. Aim for neutrality, even though her every word denigrates big bodies like yours. Slightly raised eyebrows are acceptable because they project interest, as in, You’re eating only quinoa? That’s fascinating.

Muse about the last time you two went out to lunch. Recall how, after you ordered, she said, I always forget, you actually eat. Remember the many clunky, insensitive things you yourself have uttered throughout your lifetime, perhaps as recently as several minutes ago. Marvel that somehow, people managed to forgive you. Daydream of a world where you no longer need lists like this.

size 22 

and counting 
how you wish every-

body would lose 
their appetite 
for shame 

—Short-listed Finalist in MacQ’s Cheribun Challenge #3

Tracy Royce’s

words have appeared in Bending Genres, contemporary haibun online, The Ekphrastic Review, Frogpond, MacQueen’s Quinterly, ONE ART, and elsewhere. She lives in Southern California, where she enjoys hiking, playing board games, and obsessing over Richard Widmark movies. You can find her on Bluesky.