because i realized i was waiting all day
to drink
to silence the 17,000 voices
all declarations of war
but then i would swallow too much
and the buildings would burn
through my body at 3 AM
and the firing squad
would line me up—
a child weeping an adolescent vomiting
an adult holding a weeping version
of myself
and i would feel the bullets enter
and leave traces of lead
in my breath
and then the next day
i would begin again at the back
of the line
but now
now i take antidepressants
state-sponsored hope
enhancers so i can speak
without nausea so i can form words
of protection from myself
so i can hold my children
instead of my corpse
helps our Veterans heal as an RN in the Seattle area. His latest book is a collaboration with Lillian Necakov and Lauren Scharhag titled Midnight Glossolalia (Meat For Tea Press). He also has a collaboration with Daniel McGinn, Fill Me With Birds, which is looking for a home. Scott’s book of poetry The Long Blade of Days Ahead is due out in August from Impspired.
Links to his other books, including his first collection, The only thing that makes sense is to grow (Moon Tide Press, 2019), are available at his website:
Ferrypoetry.com
