Meretrix

Meretrix meretrix, hard Asian clam 
You live off the muddy brown shores of Siam 
Your Latin name proof that a biologist 
Can be versed in the classics and a humourist 
For your clammy suitor can never be sure s/he 
Has got the right end of your kind’s gonochory. 
A paradigm for modern LGBT 
Protandric transitioning’s complexity 
Can lead to some problems when passions mature 
With a mate disappointed by your false allure 
O how much simpler ’twould be in the night 
If you and all lovers were hermaphrodite 
Simultaneous mollusc on mollusc sex action 
Could double the mutual deep satisfaction 
But then if we are to believe what they say 
Love should rise above these sordid things anyway. 

The Marmite Wars

she called him a rat 
he called her a louse 
they disagreed over 
who’d get the house 
and who’d get the cat 
who slept through the lot 
as cats will do that 
but as for the pot 
of Marmite they couldn’t 
decide who would get it 
and which of them wouldn’t 
and all of a sudden 
they both were surprised 
to have more in common 
than they realised 
so for love of this spread 
they went back to bed 
happy thereafter 
what could be dafter? 

From the poet’s Love collection, in progress

Keith Evetts

is a retired British diplomat who lives in the UK. His scientific papers are published in Nature and elsewhere; his long-form poetry in The Oxford Magazine and Linnet’s Wings; his cherita in The Cherita; and his haiku and related short forms in Blithe Spirit, Cattails, Cold Moon Journal, Failed Haiku, Heliosparrow, Mambu, Presence, Prune Juice, The Asahi Shimbun, Wales Haiku Journal, World Haiku Review, and at The Haiku Foundation. His work has been anthologized in the Red Moon Anthologies of haiku and haibun, and has been nominated for the Pushcart Prize and Touchstone Awards.

Evetts is listed among the European Top 100 Haiku Authors in 2021, and hosts the weekly haiku commentary feature at The Haiku Foundation. He’s married, with five children, a grey parrot, and a sense of humour.